I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
