It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
