my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I look excited, but its just a facade.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
