escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Sober January is a disaster.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
