I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
