Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
My vagina just clenched in fear
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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