She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
