The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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