Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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