Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
