Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
