big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
