I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
love makes seman taste better
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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