CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
