I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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