i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize