i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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