i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize