I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
