Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize