I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
