we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize