I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
