Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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