I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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