Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
