Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
