You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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