doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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