doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
