This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
