do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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