My first STD was from a foam party
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just had sex on a roof
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
