btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
