I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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