Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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