Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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