Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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