weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
