I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
