evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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