I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
