I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize