I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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