we're chasing vodka with high fives
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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