if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
