have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize