she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
