All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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