best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
