I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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