if i can run in heels then i can drive
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
