party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize