The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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