I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
