ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
