Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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