Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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