She tied me up with her honor cords...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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