I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
