New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
