Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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