I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
