It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
