We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
