I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
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