I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
