After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
