Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
