I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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