Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
